Sue (orange_coat) wrote in womenvocations,

Prayer request?

I need help! I'm confused. As you can tell from my previous post, I was quite confident of my vocation. I've been thinking about this since I was 17 (now I'm 20). For nearly four years I've been quite confident in my vocation.

Sadly, about for the past month I can't stop thinking about this guy (it seems to be mutual). Sure I've had crushes here and there, but normally I dismiss them and brush them off like flies. Now this will not go away (FYI I've never had a boyfriend.. and had planned to keep it that way to really make a statement of chastity toward young people). This temptation is so great, that even after I thought were signs from God toward my vocation I am now tempted to RECONSIDER my religious vocation. The guy just seems so kind, nice, blahblah you know the deal. I cannot stop thinking about him.

Is God allowing me to be tempted? What is God doing? I am SO torn! Last night I could not sleep and was quite down, and then I dreamed about the guy heh. I was so sure that being a non-cloistered sister was much more practical... but this temptation is so great that I am tempted to consider marriage instead (which to me doesn't seem practical with what I think I can give people). I wrote this entry a few days ago dismissing this particular temptation--> ..... but the temptation will not go away.

I am confused, and slightly depressed. Prayers would help :).


EDIT: Anyone gone through a similar experience? Can anyone relate?
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