Sadly, about for the past month I can't stop thinking about this guy (it seems to be mutual). Sure I've had crushes here and there, but normally I dismiss them and brush them off like flies. Now this will not go away (FYI I've never had a boyfriend.. and had planned to keep it that way to really make a statement of chastity toward young people). This temptation is so great, that even after I thought were signs from God toward my vocation I am now tempted to RECONSIDER my religious vocation. The guy just seems so kind, nice, blahblah you know the deal. I cannot stop thinking about him.
Is God allowing me to be tempted? What is God doing? I am SO torn! Last night I could not sleep and was quite down, and then I dreamed about the guy heh. I was so sure that being a non-cloistered sister was much more practical... but this temptation is so great that I am tempted to consider marriage instead (which to me doesn't seem practical with what I think I can give people). I wrote this entry a few days ago dismissing this particular temptation--> http://orange-coat.livejournal.com/61512.html ..... but the temptation will not go away.
I am confused, and slightly depressed. Prayers would help :).
EDIT: Anyone gone through a similar experience? Can anyone relate?