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|Tuesday, January 18th, 2011|
updates on everyone
I was active in this community ages ago, stopped using LJ when I was in Bolivia and am now trying to get back into LJ again.
I was reading those old posts from 2005-2007ish yesterday and would love to know how everyone from back then is doing (and even those who didn't post back then!).
Who joined a religious community?
Who learned that marriage is actually their vocation?
Who learned that religious life is their vocation but is still searching for a community that fits them?
Who is still discerning God's will for them?
As for me (if you remember me) - years ago, I wanted to be a Maryknoll Sister. As my faith developed and matured, that want faded my junior/senior year of college and I realized that Maryknoll wasn't my calling. It no longer "fit" me at all. I joined a Salesian congregation about three years ago and left after about six months. Now, almost three years after leaving, I MAY have finally found my vocation with the Daughters of Charity of St. Vincent de Paul. I'm passing more and more time with them and if I do decide my vocation is with them, I plan on entering in a year/two years.
Please comment! I would love to know how everyone is!
|Tuesday, January 12th, 2010|
'A Story of a Soul' by St Therese
Hi my name is Susannah and I am exploring vocation. This week I have read 'A Story of a Soul' by St Therese de Lisieux. It has floored me. I am very moved by it. At the same time it is so challenging. I guess Therese has made me realise much more clearly what it may all involve. I hadn't even heard of her 2 months ago. Then I mentioned my thoughts of vocation to my work colleague Teresa, and she rushed upstairs and came down with Therese's ring, which they had kept in the family (because they are related). I went home and did what anyone as ignorant as me would do... Wikipedia! And there I learnt about the little way. But, really, until I read her book - her extraordinary book - I understood so little of the potential cost. It is a book that some people will absolutely hate. But I learnt more about sacrifice and surrender than I had ever understood before.
It's just that I so much *don't* feel like surrendering with that self-abandonment to the fire of divine love. The danger is reaction and giving up and saying, well actually, I really would rather just live like the whole world lives.
I was glad when the post from the hospital arrived today, with my job info, because it kicked me back into very practical mode, and the practical 'doing' I am being asked to do.
But that doesn't change the words I've been confronted with. I can pretend I didn't hear, and yes, anyway, my life is about to get very practical. But in the place in my heart where the whole world's stopped, it feels like there is no escaping a vocation I didn't realise would ask quite this much.Have any of *you* read 'A Story of a Soul' and what did you think?
|Thursday, December 10th, 2009|
Vocation discernment question
I've been discerning a possible vocation to religious life for a few months now. I've contacted a couple of different communities and recently worked up the courage to go on a "Nun Run" sponsored by my diocese. I met several communities and several sisters who are wonderful faith-filled people. The odd thing though is as the "Run" progressed I became more restless and agitated (which I hope I managed to hide successfully) and by of the end of the night when I drove back home I was overwhelmed with feelings of disappointment.
Since that "Run" I've felt less of a clearer sense of my vocation to religious life, which confuses me as I had such a fight within myself to go forward in my discernment (I did not think religious life was for me at all) and when I finally started discerning seriously it feels as though the "call" to religious life is suddenly gone, making me confused and a bit irritated with God.
On a much shallower note, one of the things that bothered me on the "Run" was the sisters lack of wearing habits. I know this is really irrelevant but somehow it kept nagging me as well.
|Sunday, August 16th, 2009|
Denying a vocation?
Hi everyone. I just joined this community and hope I might get some insight into my situation. I'm a convert and received my sacramental "grand slam" (baptism, confirmation and communion) at the Easter Vigil during the Jubilee Year (2000). I never felt such an outpouring of grace before and felt truly washed clean of all my sins and given a multitude of graces. Since then I've kept having this nagging feeling of having a religious vocation. I've pushed it aside a multitude of times. I've used many excuses for why I can't have one.
- I'm the wrong one you want, Lord. Pick someone worthier than me.
- I'd make a rotten nun or sister.
- I'm too selfish and too much of a sinner.
- I can't seem to give up even the smallest thing, how can I give up everything for God?
- It'd break my family's heart if I did this.
The truth is I'm afraid and I don't want to have a religious vocation because I fear what it means for me, what I need to give up, how much I have to die to myself in order for Christ to live more fully within me. I also worry what my friends and family might feel. I never want them to think I'm being "holier than thou" by considering a religious vocation. I know I'm a sinner and badly in need of God's grace to lead a holy life (which is always a struggle for me).
I also have a nice career getting set up which I enjoy and feel fulfilled and at home in. I don't understand how I could feel "meant" for this type of work only to be called away on a religious vocation which might take me away from it (I work in Radiography at a hospital). Ultimately I'm trying to understand what God's purpose is for me and to learn what His will is for my life and not mine, which is very difficult.
|Sunday, May 17th, 2009|
I created this liveournal account in addition to my old one to post about more intimately religious subjects, and I added this community because a part of that involves the vocational discernment I have been and am going through. I just got confirmed into the RCC this Easter Vigil after at least a few years of waffling and procrastinating research and prayer and general rebellion and skepticism and whatnot, and that helped me to embrace investigation into what I realized has possibly been a long time of God gently signaling to me that I have a call to consecrated religious life. More specifically, I feel especially called to cloistered Dominican life, but am open to exploring. The second most likely is probably Carmelite and then Franciscan and Benedictine are probably tied with last place as far as where I feel I may be called. It seems like God has given me some pretty significant signs that I am definitely called to religious life--and less so that the calling is probably to contemplative rather than active life, but they're there--but the deal with Orders is more a result of me taking an inventory of my interests, skills, feelings etc. If anyone is interested in the details of my discernment process and prayer please feel free to ask; I may post some stuff to my journal, but I can't tell if that will actually happen in the near future.
Right now the stage I'm at, predictably, is learning more about consecrated religious life and the different Orders and communities. After a while of considering and praying and discussing, the Lord granted me the favor of being able to finally schedule a visit with the Dominican Monastery of the Blessed Sacrament in Michigan (near Detroit) and a Discalced Carmelite Monastery in Sioux City, Iowa. I'm excited! I'm sure the results of these visits will be very important, but they will probably not involve me gearing up to enter the convent any time soon since I am taking another year to finish up with college and write an undergrad thesis in religion, and then am hoping to be accepted into Teach for America so that I can spend more time discerning, wrapping up loose ends, and paying of debts. That will take at least 3 years, but I figure an early start certainly doesn't hurt, especially since I am sort of new to the church (I was baptized Catholic at about 2 months and have been flirting with her for a while).
One of the biggest obstacles for me right now, I think, is probably convincing others and even being fully convinced myself that the call to contemplative life is 'legit'. By that I mean that life as a contemplative can, for those called to it, truly be a life in service of humanity and God. I feel satisfactorily convinced of this after prayer and research (soon after I asked God for an answer to this, the Carmelite monastery I will be visiting sent me some material on contemplative life that really opened my mind), but others in my life are not. Primary is the campus minister of the Intervarsity Christian Fellowship chapter at my uni (it's interdenominational, but overwhelmingly Protestant/non-Catholic), who has talked to me about how he basically doesn't think the contemplative life scriptural. Of course, this is probably mostly in part because he hasn't embraced the Catholic faith (though he was raised Catholic up to his First Communion and now attends and serves at an Anglican church) and so does not understand or see things the same way the Church does. Still, it would be nice to be able to discuss with him why I feel a legit calling to contemplative life is possible. I have some ideas, but they're difficult to articulate and I am only beginning to understand them. Any thoughts and other input are appreciated.
Sorry if that was a little rambly; thanks for reading! :) Current Mood: happy
|Monday, July 28th, 2008|
"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
This quote I discovered from the book A Sacred Voice is Calling
by John Neafsey
|Thursday, July 10th, 2008|
following your inner voice
I was wondering if anyone have taken vows without the benefit of an institution or community - as a personal choice. If so, how did you define the parameters of your vows?
|Sunday, July 6th, 2008|
"Alone With God"
Anyone heard of the site www.vocationsplacement.org
? I signed up a few years ago, and now and then I get these great newsletters. Natalie Smith is also a great vocations director to talk to. Here's one of my recent newsletters: Title: "Alone With God"
At a famous monastery there is a sign saying, “God Alone”. But do you know that a person can be completely separated from the world and still not be “alone” with God? Do you realize that you can be in the hubbub of Life or in the middle of nowhere or in your room with the “door shut” and be “with God alone?” Are you with God now? I mean, are you with your self (Christ living in you)? Do you know your self? Do you stand by Him without ceasing? Can you hear Him inside of you expressing His joys, sadness, confusions, hopes on a moment to moment basis? Do you know Him?
Many saints have said “you know your vocation by knowing your self.” I press the issue because in order to find your vocation you must hear HIM and be brutally honest about what He is saying. Remember the scripture “Depart from me I never knew you.” But yet the person answered back saying, “But didn’t I do great miracles in your name?” So many people I work with are avoiding the responsibility of hearing their own inner Jesus by focusing on other people’s problems. Many are “loving their neighbor “instead” of themselves, NOT “as” themselves.
This is a serious matter, because when we do not show the world that there is something called “vocation” by listening to our own inner Jesus we are fostering hopelessness and failing to be the example to others who are struggling with their own faith. By our entering our vocation we become living examples of the meaning of Life itself and we all know that Life without meaning fosters despair in ourselves and others. By standing firm with Christ within we bring the joy of the “Kingdom of God to earth as it is in heaven.” We bring meaning, and happiness, and Life to others starting with ourselves, pouring forth from our own hearts first, as in the image of the Sacred Heart the light (Love) that God pours forth from within our own depths before it can be seen by others. Listen to your heart, your sacred desires
are a map leading to the birth of hope to the world.
Vocation is like a sacrament. Vocation is a “fountainhead of grace” as is baptism or confirmation. Vocation is too often treated as a sacramental. A sacramental offers a reminder: a sacrament offers divine grace to do the impossible. Our vocation makes it evident to the world that there is a God. By our vocation we are a witness to a divine energy that invites us to participate in the birthing of Love in the world, God’s and our world. Through vocation we will do the impossible: like the Blessed Mother getting pregnant without a man or Jesus rising from the dead. There is no doubt to those around us that God has done through us what the height of human effort could not. So also will it be when you are in YOUR vocation.
The world needs to see your witness to the existence of God operating through vocation, whether it be marriage, religious life, or the priesthood. Do not underestimate the hope and Love others are witnessing through your adherence to your own Inner
Jesus. Out of the allegiance to your own inner Jesus you will then be able truly to listen to other’s Inner Jesus through ministry. But in this newsletter I am exhorting you strongly to minister to your self first (your own Inner Jesus) by taking the time thoroughly to discern what your Inner Jesus wants and feels. In completely owning what you want and feel, you are now “identifying” with Christ not simply “imitating” Him. It is then and only then that it is truly no longer you "living but Christ living in you".
Natalie Smith 1-800-221-1807 For more on vocation see:
Natalie Smith and the Vocations Placement Staff
x-posted to men_vocations
|Sunday, May 18th, 2008|
Hi, I'm Meg--I'm really excited that there's a community like this on LJ *waves*
well, this topic was posted here earlier, but it was last year, so I've taken the liberty of bringing it up again--mods, if this is no good, I'll certainly take it down and/or put it under the other thread.
So. Women in the priesthood. (yeah, sorry, another one of those...)
I'm Roman Catholic, I love the Lord and my fellows, and I have wanted to be a priest since I was little. I graduate from high school this year, so deciding on an education plans/career path is pretty top-priority. Unfortunately, this goes hand-in-hand with facing the idea that...well, my Church, my Family doesn't want me to serve Her as a priest.
My parents told me I could become a nun instead; their reasoning is that sisterhood is "the closest I can get to the priesthood." That was very angering. I respect and admire the vocation of sisterhood far too much to demean it in such a way--like making it a "Plan B" or a "fall-back." No way-- sisterhood isn't second-best to any vocation!
And I don't feel as though I have been Called to sisterhood...insofar as the Gifts that God has given me and the influences He has brought into my life, I truly feel that I can best serve and most completely offer my life to God as one of His priests. Could that be a Call?
But...I really just want to serve God whatever way He wants me to. Maybe this urge I feel--however earnest--is only my own; I constantly struggle for true humility and selflessness--what if this is another snare to boost my ego and kindle false indignation against God and the Church? ...I know my answer lies in prayer, but I'm frightened-- I'm scared that my own self-righteousness will drown out God's Voice; that I have/will have closed myself off from Him...
Ha, this whole being-human thing isn't all that easy, huh? Well anyway, thanks for reading. Peace of Christ be with you always!
ps: ....May I ask, perhaps, if you could remember me and all those who are struggling with this same dilemma in you prayers? I'm not doing such a bang-up job by myself...thank you again.
|Sunday, January 13th, 2008|
Hello I am a newbie in this group!!
I am a newbie in this group, so just thought I'd say hi!
I am Carrie, GeekGirl4Jesus. I am 28 and I am a former Catholic who turned Lutheran so that I could become a pastor.
I am supposing, from seeing the interests in this community page, that most of you are Catholic women thinking about becoming nuns.
I think that is AWESOME, and I did that too, but I guess in the end my vocation lay elsewhere. However, I am much honoured to be here and share this community with you, so i hope that we can all be friends!
Peace to you all
|Thursday, November 15th, 2007|
Keeping in touch
Hi again! I don't really have a good reason to post but for some reason I just felt like updating about my vocation.
Things have been going really well with me lately. In case you don't remember, I am teaching in Japan for a year and it is my plan to do a live-in at a Discalced Carmelite monastery when I get back to the States.
Unlike before, I no longer have any doubt that God is calling me to this. I don't know the future with any certainty, but I am certain that God is telling me in my heart to follow this path toward this vocation. If He chooses to lead me on a new path later, I am striving to be open to His Will, to not get too attached even to the idea of living in this particular monastery, though I do adore what I know of it so far.
I have been occasionally e-mailing with the Prioress there. Every time she amazes me with her insights. I have also been e-mailing with another serious candidate who did her live-in already and who is planning to enter as a postulant in January. We are close in age and even Mother said she thought we would make good companions. I am so happy, the only thing that gets me down sometimes is the many months I have left here. I am not really upset about it anymore, because I feel like Our Lord is giving me this time to grow so that I will be more mature entering monastery life.
I have really been feeling like an exile lately. Of course we are all exiles in this world, longing for our Heavenly Home. It adds to it that I am a foreigner in a country that is largely racially homogeneous so there is no possible way to blend in. On top of that I live alone, miles and miles away from all of my family and friends in America. When I first got here it was painful in many ways, but I have learned to be grateful for all of it. It feels like preparation for my entry into the Carmel where--even though I will be physically much closer--I will be even more cut off from communicating with my family and friends for the sake of my interior life with God. In some ways my situation now is even more solitary than life in the Carmel because there I will be living in a community. I think God is preparing me to have the proper detachment that is part of the contemplative vocation--to make sure He is forever my first priority.
Anyways, that's my vocation update. :)
|Saturday, November 17th, 2007|
BIG news from Amanda in Bolivia
I have thought of a thousand ways to start this entry....
¨So I have news from Bolivia...¨
¨Well, this is going to be a surprise (maybe)...¨
¨Bolivia has affected me more than you know¨
And many other ways. But I´ll start with this....
I´m going to be staying in Bolivia much longer than I originally thought. Much longer. Everything has affected me much more than I can begin to explain. It has changed me.
So why am I staying in Bolivia longer? Because I have decided that, in December, I will become an aspirant of the religious community here, the Hijas del Divino Salvador (translation in English - the Daughters of the Divine Savior) This is somehting I have prayed and thought about for a long time. It´s not a snap decision. It will be difficult (obviously) but I know this is what I am meant to do.
So more about the Hijas del Divino Salvador. They´re amazing - absolutely full of joy, great with kids, everything great you can imagine. They were founded in El Salvador in 1956, so they´re a fairlynew religious community. They were founded by a Salesian bishop so they´re part of the Salesian family (for all those oblivious to what the Salesians are - they´re a religious order founded by Saint Don Bosco that specifically work with children and youth) There are about 150 Sisters in all. Now here´s the kicker - this community is only in Latin America. They´re in the following countries - El Salvador, Guatemala, Venezuela, Panama, Argentina and Bolivia. and I woudl be the only one fluent in English.
Their spirituality is a little different than other Salesian communities. Their community was founded on Christmas Eve in 1956 and because of that, they consider their spirituality a Christmas spirituality. So what does a Christmas spirituality mean? One being that they emphasize Jesus born as a baby in a manger in Bethlehem, born poor like the people they servce. Two because they, following their spirituality, live everyday as if it were Christmas - always remembering to be full of joy because Jesus has come. And let me tell you, I haven´t founded one Sister so far who doesn´t live out this spirituality.
Because they´re Salesian, they obviously work with children and youth. When they found new communities in other countries, they always seek out the pooorest of the poor - the town or city with the most need for education. Their ministries are schools (all ages), soup kitchens, day cares, and orphanages like the one I work at. In other countries, the Sisters can teach anything from math to science to religioun and everything in between. Here in Bolivia, when they teach in schools, they only teach religion (no one has really explained why but that´s the way it is) In Bolivia, there are four different communities of the Hijas del Divino Salvador - one in La Paz (El ALto) and three in Cochabamba (Itocta, Pucartia and Barrio Primero de Mayo)
I will entering the aspirancy December 12, the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, who is important to each of the Sisters here. She is the patroness of Latin America. Typically the aspirancy is two years but the Sisters announced that I will only be spending one year of being an aspirant because I have spent so much time with them over these past few months and because they believe I´m mature enough. (There are two other girls entering with me - Alicia (17 years old) and Karen (18 years old) but they will be spending two years as aspirants)
Because that´s the case, I will be the companion of two other girls over these next four years (one as aspirant, one as postulant, two as novice). Their names are Claudia and Julia and next year will be their second year of aspirancy. Both are from the city of La Paz. Claudia, right now, is 21 years old. She graduated high school the same year I did. Right now, as an aspirant, she is teaching religion in the school here. Julia is, right now, 16 years old and is finishing her third year of high school this week (school year is different). These two, including Patty (Julia´s blood sister) who will be a postulant next year, have become the sisters I never had.
As an aspirant, I will continue my year of service with VIDES (I´m not breaking my contract, Sr. Denise =)) I will continue working in the orphanage until next August. My jobs there will not change. The only difference will be that I will no longer be living in the orphanage (hogar) and that I would be wearing the habit. I will also be teaching religion in the school once a week.
As I explained above, there are four years of formation for me - one year as aspirant, one as postulant, two as novice. After those years, I take my first religious vows. Then it will be six more years until I take my perpetual (forever) vows. During those six years, I will be staying here in Cochabamba - working, taking classes about Salesian spirituality and education methods, and going to collelge to get my degree in education. After those six years, I take my perpetuals. Then, the Mother Superior decides where she would like to send me. I could be staying in Bolivia or moving to a different country. All the Sisters are hoping that soon the Salesian Fathers will invite us to found a community in the United States (they all want to go) If that happens, I will, without a doubt, move to the US since English is my first language and I know the most about the country. But that will only happen if they invite us.
I will be back to the US to visit every year. There are vacations in June and November (or December?). The June vacation is usually three weeks but all the Sisters from other countries (including moi) get a month. The other vacation is only a few days. The Sisters have told me that, if I like, I can combine my vacations and take the Juna vacation for a month and a half. So don´t worry, you will see me again. For all those getting married (which is a lot of you) or just waiting patiently or impatiently for a proposal from you significant other, if you really love me, have the wedding the middle of June (haha, just kidding - you can have the wedding whenever you want but I would love to be there) And Susan, if you decide to have the wedding in June (entirely up to you and Andrew), I beleive I can still be your maid of honor. I believe the only difference would be that I´d be walking aorund in the habit, not a fancy dress.
To all those I made promises to as to plans after finishing my volunteer year - I am deeply sorry. Know that I did intend on following them through. They weren´t made as empty promises. But it looks like all along, God had a different plan for me than I thought.
Sorry to all those friends I have written letters to or spoken to over the phone for not mentioning this before. I wanted to tell you but more than anything, I wanted to tell my parents first. Now that they know about my decision after spending a few days here, I feel better telling you all this.
Despite everything - the change of language, the change of culture, the change of country - here I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I am more than confident in my decision. I have never felt more confident in anything else. I hope you all understand that.
Feel free to email me back - with good luck wishes, thoughts of shock, whatever. I would love to hear from all of you. Pass this on if someone is missing from this list. And please know I am looking forward to seeing all of you in June and telling you everything.
Also, these next four years of formation will be dedicated to the memory of Dr. Emilio Rodriguez, my favorite prof at Mount Saint Mary´s U and great friend, who died last week in his sleep accompanying students on a study abroad trip to Ireland. He helped form who I am - more than he ever knew. May he rest in peace.
Viva Jesus! (Here you say ¨Viva Maria!¨)
With lots of love,
|Monday, November 12th, 2007|
consider the contemplatives...
for my friends in discernment Current Mood: contemplative
What does it mean to be called?
It means knowing oneself as infinitely loved,
discovering within yourself a desire to give everything.
It is the assurance that God is enough
and everything else is not enough.
To be called is to receive a gift that surpasses
all understanding. A gift that is nothing
less than God himself.
A gift he longs to give.
God calls each one uniquely.
For some, His call is heard at a very young age
and for others later in life.
He may make His voice heard
at a moment of prayer
or in the midst of an amusement
that suddenly becomes meaningless.
It can be dramatic,
so that one can point to the exact instant
of His invitation,
or it can come as a gradual realization
over the course of years.
God is a lover who respects our freedom.
He does not overwhelm or coerce.
His voice is soft
and we can ignore it
or drown it out
with the noise of the world.
If you suspect He is calling you,
it is worth your while to listen.
In order to hear Him,
you must separate yourself from the question,
"what is in it for me?"
Otherwise, you will only hear the tumult
of your own self-interest.
Do not be afraid.
God is your Creator who has made you
with a specific plan in mind.
It is your task in life to discover this plan
and to fulfill it
will be your joy.
Bethlehem Monastery of the Poor Clares
|Wednesday, October 24th, 2007|
Vocational Discernment Community for Men
Hey everyone, I have just begun the male counterpart to this community, men_vocations
. I encourage any men in this community who are actively discerning their vocations to join. Women are also welcome to join if they feel that they can contribute. God bless you all!
|Tuesday, October 9th, 2007|
Anyone know of any interesting non-cloistered religious orders around California? I need to go to more retreats of different orders, to confirm that the one I went to wasn't just a retreat high (I loved it I loved it). I need to visit more, for comparison purposes.
I appreciate it, thanks!
|Monday, October 8th, 2007|
Sacred Heart Apostles
I finally went on my first discernment retreat, even if it was only for three days. I went to the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus
at their U.S. "motherhouse" in Hamden, Connecticut (has anyone been there?) I don't know if I'm called there, or if I'm really called at all. I do know I seriously loved that order.
Or if I have just discovered the phenomena of a retreat high which I have never experienced before?
I'm guessing it had to be more than a "retreat-high".
Any thoughts on the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus? Or even any thoughts at all?
How's your discernment process going, what order/orders do you like/are looking into?
Just curious :-).
|Sunday, September 16th, 2007|
So, girls, I have a question.
Have any of you felt called to the priesthood?
Just curious. It's something I've been having trouble with.
Edit: I am Roman Catholic.
|Wednesday, August 29th, 2007|
a workbook for discernment
i also received a workbook from the Poor Clares when i was discerning. it is basically a way to discern whether or not the decision you are considering is a God's Call. The workbook itself has some obtuse language, but the exercises are very good. it is something you should work on prayerfully and then share with your spiritual director. Current Mood: hopeful
for those who would like to download it, i've typed it up (so please excuse any spelling errors, etc.) and you can download it here http://files-upload.com/files/467892/Discernment_Workbook.pdf
it was originally distributed by the National Catholic Vocation Council of Chicago IL.
you will need Adobe Acrobat to read the file, but it's free to download at www.adobe.com if you don't already have it :)
my prayers are with you all!
|Tuesday, August 28th, 2007|
a helpful article
i was sent this article by a Passionist Nun during my discernment many years ago, and even as i read it today, it still holds much truth. i thought it might be helpful for some here as well.Could God Be Calling You?
from Vision Magazine 1993
The call to religious life varies greatly. For some it is a mystery of divine love from the beginning. For others it is a desire for union with God that is so overwhelming it outweighs all other considerations. For still others the call comes in the form of an inexplicable yearning that keeps on returning until the objct of one's yearning becomes known: God.
Yet for these, and for many others who experience less well-defined calls, questions at some point or another arise: Who, me? Called to relitious life? Are you serious? How could God be calling me? If such questions sound familiar, perhaps this article is for you.
if you liked that article, i have workbook for discernment that i intend to type up and post here as well. it just might take me a few days.
May our Crucified Lord guide you all to your true vocation. You will all be in my prayers.
|Wednesday, August 1st, 2007|
I need help! I'm confused. As you can tell from my previous post, I was quite confident of my vocation. I've been thinking about this since I was 17 (now I'm 20). For nearly four years I've been quite confident in my vocation.
Sadly, about for the past month I can't stop thinking about this guy (it seems to be mutual). Sure I've had crushes here and there, but normally I dismiss them and brush them off like flies. Now this will not go away (FYI I've never had a boyfriend.. and had planned to keep it that way to really make a statement of chastity toward young people). This temptation is so great, that even after I thought were signs from God toward my vocation I am now tempted to RECONSIDER my religious vocation. The guy just seems so kind, nice, blahblah you know the deal. I cannot stop thinking about him.
Is God allowing me to be tempted? What is God doing? I am SO torn! Last night I could not sleep and was quite down, and then I dreamed about the guy heh. I was so sure that being a non-cloistered sister was much more practical... but this temptation is so great that I am tempted to consider marriage instead (which to me doesn't seem practical with what I think I can give people). I wrote this entry a few days ago dismissing this particular temptation--> http://orange-coat.livejournal.com/61512.html
..... but the temptation will not go away.
I am confused, and slightly depressed. Prayers would help :).
Anyone gone through a similar experience? Can anyone relate?